Welcome 2024! I’m sitting at home on the first snow/ice day of the year. It isn’t very common for us to get weather that keeps us home in the pacific northwest but today is one of those days for me. We have a couple of inches of ice out on the roads which is enough to keep me in. I was going to go for a walk but after a trip to the frozen compost bin, I decided I didn’t want to break my hip today.
I should be working on taxes….I can do that tomorrow. I decided to be a bit creative and reason out some thoughts swirling in my mind.
Thought/question for the day: what would my ex and I have to do to consider getting back together?
Backstory; we have been done romantically for 2.5 years. We bought property together in 2021. The house was a fixer and the whole property needed work. I work remotely and have a project management mindset so I was the one tasked with living in a trailer on the property and making the magic happen. The house remodel was wrapped up in early 2022 (about 8 months time). It was a big accomplishment but all I felt was sadness. I lost my relationship early in the project. Maybe I will write another post about that journey.
Last year he tried to get a loan to buy me out and I tried to do the same. Neither of us could accomplish it since it is commercial property. So we are stuck in this business together. We had some very rocky times even before going into this business/property together. Was getting hooked together in this way the best idea? Probably not….hindsight is 20/20. So many hurtful things were said and when I mention times he came unglued, he goes back into the rage he felt at the time. Needless to say, it makes it almost impossible to sort anything out.
Forward to present. I am back to dating, as is he. We have shared some really good times together the last couple months. I have let myself play the “what if” game. What if we were able to get past those nasty things he said? What would need to change to make me even consider?
Here is my list:
- He would need to get personal counseling.
- We would need to get couples counseling.
- He would need to make fitness/healthy habits more important.
- He would need to go to the dentist.
- Less drinking when we are together. No drinking when we need to talk about anything important.
- He needs to wash his hands more often.
He hasn’t actually said he wants to get back together. He just says he feels all the roads point back to me and him being together. This is bittersweet since we could have stayed together if his insecurities hadn’t gotten the best of him. He opened his mouth and horrible things came out, not just once but several times.
Am I being unreasonable with my list?