Brene Brown, the author of “Daring Greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead”, talks about living wholeheartedly in this book. This idea and attitude has changed my life. There is so much in this book and I 100% recommend it. Read it, let it wash over you, take it to heart, and start living life open and vulnerable.
The year I watched Brene’s famous TEDxHouston talk, my daughter was a senior in high school. Part of her thing in high school had been student leadership and volunteering. During one such event that raised money for equipment in caring for preemies, she was part of a variety show called Lion Pride Pageant. Previous years it was Lion King Pageant but this was the year they started to let girls participate. I had never been to one of these pageants so I had no idea what to expect. My daughter asked me to show up in formal wear and wanted to know if I was OK with her dad and me being on stage at the same time with her. Of course I was OK. We made and raised this wonderful young woman, I had no reason to avoid it. Part of the pageant was the kids reading a letter to their parents. The letter was written ahead of time and prerecorded by the writer. I walked out on stage with my daughter in front of hundreds of people. I heard her start to read this letter.
I did not expect to hear these words from my daughter. I felt like I had let my kids down and this one of my three was the hardest for me to read. She was the youngest and had the least number of years with her dad and me together. But here I was, standing there, holding my daughter and knowing she thought I was brave. This is what she wrote about me:
“Mom, I have learned so many things from you over the years. Things like generosity, compassion, and forgiveness, along with so many others, but one that you have shown me time and time again is how to be brave. I’ve learned to be brave when it comes to my career, beliefs, and any other life choices. You’ve never been one to stand down from a fight in order to protect what you believe in or to protect Colt, Camille, or I. I know our lives have been a roller coaster of sad and happy times but we continue to come out on top because you can make the best out of the worst. You’ve seen me through the hardest parts of my life so far and I just know whatever I go through you’ll be there making things better. I see you go through things that I could never imagine experiencing but somehow you’re always smiling when I see you. I just hope you know that no matter what others say or think about you, I am extremely proud to have you as my mother and friend. I love you so much Mom.”
She wrote these words in May of 2017. We both stood on stage crying and holding each other, her dad on her other side, looking at us. In writing these words today, I need to remember who I am. I’m brave and willing to fight for what I want, what is right, and to protect my loved ones. These pandemic days have weakened my fight and reduced my bravery to silent dread. This isn’t who I am. I am strong, brave, and make the most of even hard times. So what if I get laid-off. I have been wanting to leave my job anyway. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would force me to get out of my comfortable little nest and look for the next amazing turn of my life.
My kids have always been the brightest places in my life. Now I have my guy also, a beaming light that I love. My heart is an open place with few road blocks. Daring greatly has become a natural part of my life. It is scary, it is true honesty with myself and others. The deep truth is; when I say “I love you”, I mean it. No fluff, no frills, plain simple truth.