I have been dating for more years than I want to count. My kids were younger when I started the process but I don’t recall ever making a lot of comments about them in my profile. Now I make some comment about having grown children or that I am a mostly empty nester. I have viewed thousands of profiles and I have a little advice for those people with kids.
- Limit the number of pictures of you with your kids. We all know your kids are darling and you have a ton of fun together. We don’t need to see them with you in every picture. We don’t need to see you holding them when they were babies (and now they are 15). Old family pictures….also a no-no. Off subject, any picture that shows you in a wedding ring, keep it off your dating profile.
- Using the term “kids always come first”. As a parent myself, my kids are my number one concern. The part “always” is hard for me to swallow. I want to pull at my hair and ask these people if they have lived through the teenage years (and beyond)? It can get dicey and demanding, or should I say, they (the kids) get that way. When I have plans, dates with men or plans with my friends, then my kids call at the last minute and want to get together; guess what, I don’t cancel my plans. My kids know the flip side is always true also, I never make promises or plans with them that I don’t keep. Plus as parents, I don’t feel the need to say this phrase, it is a given.
- I saw this one today, “my daughter always wins”. Wow, makes me want to have a long term relationship with this guy! Playing second fiddle is not enticing, and to a daughter at that. My kids don’t always win. I always win. I do what is best for my relationships, otherwise I would be left empty handed, no friends and mad, self-centered kids.
- Meeting the kids. People have lots of different takes on this. If a long term relationship is the goal, after a couple months of steady dating, I think it is ok to meet the kids. Not on their turf or mine; maybe at ice cream, the park, bowling. This is good for younger kids. My kids are older so I am cool with them meeting anyone that they cross paths with in regular life. My kids are fine with knowing their mother is dating.
A tip for those with grandchildren….please let us know those kiddos in your pictures are grands. It gets a little confusing for those of us looking for empty nesters.