The title, “A winner”, is one I have struggled with for days. I met a man that was a winner for me for a period of time. One day I hope to find, “The winner”, who will be my person and fill my empty places.
I met Greg around the middle of October. We met on a dating site where we both swiped right. I was lured by his bright eyes, boyish grin, and his open profile. We met at a wine bar close to me and I saw him through the window before I walked in. He was bald (I love bald men), tall, and well built. He was taking off his flat cap and coat as I walked across the street. I recognized him immediately. We hugged and I sat down. We had an instant connection and I felt safe, secure, and excited. It was so nice to meet a grown up who had his life in order, was really single, and had a full social life.
Greg and I had some really great times together. He was a kind man who followed through on what he said. His eyes sparkled when he spoke and he had an easy smile. We liked to spend time together and he allowed me to be playful. He introduced me to his friends and took me to some wonderful parties with some wonderful people. I could see us fitting into each other’s lives without a huge disruption to either of us. Things were flowing along, he met my friends. I was very happy.
For reasons beyond my control, Greg got stressed out and told me he couldn’t see me any more. He needed to concentrate on kids, friends, and work. I graciously accepted this and wished him the best. We both had started looking ahead to what we could actually be in the future. I worked through my fears and my thoughts of running away, he didn’t. Maybe there was more to it. Maybe I overshared, maybe it was 100 other things. The bottom line; it did not work out.
What I did take away from my time with him is that I deserve a good man, Greg was a good man. I can be valued for who I am not what I do. I don’t have to over function. I am sexy and fun, a free spirit with a grounded, secure heart. It takes less effort and stress to be in a relationship with a successful, happy, mature man than with an insecure man who doesn’t know what he wants. Good men are nice, warm, and not scary at all. My picker works!