I have known for several years that I can’t make it another 15 years doing what I am doing. I hope to make it two more years where I am so I can be vested in my current job. Time will tell and my game plan may change.
I have been on a journey to learn to live with less. I scoured Pinterest to figure out how to fit more into my space. The reality is, I just need less stuff. I got rid of a bunch of stuff last year; piles of books, half my clothes, tons of shoes, boxes of fabric, and knick knacks that meant little to me. I still have a long way to go. My daughter is going to have a garage sale this summer and I am going to take many things there. Whatever doesn’t sell will be donated.
I read some blogs and listened to some podcasts on how stuff holds you back mentally. Some said I haven’t found my person because I have too much stuff (mental and emotional clutter). I look around my house and see many things I have hanging around that are left from my marriage or ex-boyfriends. Those things will be going to the garage sale. I don’t have room for the memories they bring unless they bring me joy (like my kids). Mentally and emotionally I need to cleanse my space.
I am in the middle of a remodel gone bad. There is stuff sitting everywhere and on top of that, my daughter just moved home from college (with all of her stuff)! We are sharing a room and it is cozy. Construction is moving forward now and I hope I am in the new room in a month. All of the things for the remodel are in various places around the house and garage. This makes me feel very unsettled. Another reason to get rid of more things….I don’t really need everything!
Reading books and watching Ted talks only goes so far. I need to do it! I wonder how I got so much stuff in the first place. I guess I thought I needed it or someone got it for me because I needed it. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of stuff someone else bought for you? Ten times worse than trying to get rid of stuff you bought for yourself! I fall prey to the old, “I might need it one day, it might fit one day, I might read it one day, I might do something (knit, sew, create) with it one day.
I read the book, “The Year of Less” last month. I love what she says about keeping things that aren’t who we are right now. We buy the suit because we think we should look more professional. We buy the book because the person we think we should be would want to read it. And on and on. This conveys the idea that we aren’t happy with the person we are right now. Or as Brene Brown says, it keeps us believing we aren’t enough. I need to find the place in my heart, mind, and home where everything that I keep is “enough”. I am “enough” despite what the messages from the outside are telling me.
Cait Flanders, “The Year of Less” author got rid of most of her belonging then set out on a journey for a year to buy very little. She had a list of things she could buy but nothing else. It was a struggle for her on so many levels. When shopping, I have to ask myself the question, “do I need this right now?” Likely the answer is NO! She saved a ton of money and realized she still had more than what she needed. I have a goal to use up all the stuff I have before I get anything else….like that lotion that smells good or the Dawn soap on sale. DO NOT BUY IT! Sit tight, use up what I have and go to the store when I am one use from being out (I don’t do this when it comes to toilet paper). The clothes don’t serve me if I don’t wear them, if I don’t look good in them, if I don’t feel great in them. Why am I keeping them? Scarcity mindset?
Scarcity
Hoarding
Abundance
Enough
What do these words mean to my life? Scarcity; do I hold on to things because I think I won’t be able to afford more? Hoarding; do I keep all of them because I like them/it and can’t release them to a new owner? Abundance; do things overflow in my life? Enough; do I rest easy knowing I have everything I need and not too much?
I just realized I will have to come back to my deeper thoughts on these things.
So, these few things to set me on my way to realizing I need to make white space in my life.