I’m sitting here contemplating a relationship with a younger man. He has kids, much younger than mine also. This man is charming…not a Greek god and not Vin Diesel. He made me smile from the first few text messages about my ugly concrete porch. My friend dates his dad and I know he is probably a sweetheart too (like father, like son). It sounds weird but we hit it off via text message from the first minutes. How does this happen so easily sometimes?
I met him later that day…Monday. He is cute and witty. He says so many things that touch me, it makes me wonder if this is because there is nothing riding on this except for friendship. What will this be for me? A distraction until someone at the same place in life as me comes along? Someone that can talk to my playful side and heart instinctively without any agenda and reminds me who I am?
As the woman, I let the man lead. I wasn’t sure if he was always like this with possible clients. I stayed aloof but open when we met. I wasn’t sure how this would go. He said he would come to my house and take care of repairing my porch. Wow, really? Do I pay him or kiss him? The next day I thanked him for coming over. We picked up our conversation right away. It has been like this for the last couple days. He asked me out. We settled on something fun for Saturday night.
Here is the thing; I don’t want to hurt this man in even the littlest way. I want to inspire him to be a great man, to be open to his kids, to love without walls, to take care of himself. I want to love this man in the purest way possible (this surprises even me). I want this man to snuggle with me on the sofa and run his fingers through my hair. I want this man to understand, despite these things, I am still looking for a man to fit into my freedom and my lifestyle. If I cross the physical lines with him can we both stay detached enough to fill needs but stay open to others? Can he see that I am in a different place in life? Can he accept I am still looking for a great fit to my life? Can he find the woman of his dreams to be a real mom to his little girl?
I see a man that can be sweet, soft, and fun….and helpful. A man that knows how to be a friend. A man with a hard and dark side. A man with issues. A man that gets it. A man that has been through a lot and has stepped up to the plate. A man that has walls. A man that wants to please. A man that is aware. A man that is fun and playful. A smart man.
Where will this go? This will be part of the river that flows through our lives. Who knows where it will go…the river usually stays on the same path it always has. Will we stay connected? There is no way to know now and there is no reason to look ahead. I plan to let this unfold the way it will….it will have it’s own life and I will let it live.