To recap; during the month of September Mel and I were struggling to figure out where our relationship would land when I returned from my trip. We were good friends, we had a connection, and we shared a good dose of chemistry. What was the problem? I wanted to find my person and if he wasn’t it, I was going to move on, without him. I had already started the process of mourning our relationship. I was willing to risk our friendship to see if we could have more, Mel was not. This was the beginning of a slow goodbye.

The weekend before my Italy trip, Mel invited me to a VW event at the coast. I was excited to go with him and meet new people. I also had a feeling of deep sadness knowing this was probably going to be our last outing together.

He picked me up Saturday morning and we left for the club meeting place. We never have a lack of things to talk about and getting to the place an hour early was no big deal. I met some new people and saw some I had met through the summer events. Mel and I chatted with the others and just between the two of us. I did my best to focus on these wonderful moments.

On the road heading for the coast, I was quiet for some time (this is unusual for me). Mel asked if I was trying to figure out what he was thinking (about our situation). I said I wasn’t, but I was trying to figure out how I felt. In my heart I was grappling with the sadness, trying to feel it but enjoy the present. I do, at times, try to figure others out, but I am not very good at it. I hadn’t wasted too much time trying to figure out Mel, but instead, taking the time to figure out how I felt with the situation.

I have loved Mel since my birthday at the end of 2017. He is a good and caring man. I had resisted falling in love with him. Our relationship has always been grounded on acceptance and friendship. Even knowing he didn’t want to be with me romantically, our friendship was still our place of security.

The coast was fun. We drove on the beach and parked for a potluck. We ate and visited then decided to move the cars due to the tide. The rain was holding off so Mel and I took a walk down the beach with another couple. I held Mel’s hand and held back my tears. I felt joy too, and I wanted to soak it in.

We headed back from the coast and unfortunately, the vehicle we were in, broke down. This can happen when you drive classics! Mel was very disappointed. I was just happy we were safe and it was something he could eventually fix. The tow truck arrived, loaded the bus, and off we went toward home. We had a fun visit with the tow truck driver. We asked him about “the spark” and his girlfriend. An interesting conversation flowed.

We got back to Mel’s and unloaded the bus. We went inside and had a drink. We talked about the day and what he thought the problem was with the bus. We snuggled on the sofa and watched a movie. Mel kissed me and I kissed him back. He pulled back, looked at me, and asked me to stay. I asked what kind of stay over he meant, since we had camped together without any sex and I wasn’t sure if he was thinking sleeping only. We had respected the no sex boundary for almost a whole year. I hadn’t even considered it would be lifted before I left for my trip. This time, there wouldn’t be that boundary. He made a decision and chose to take the risk of our relationship being more than friends. I cried with feelings of happiness, relief, and love. It felt like someone reached into my chest and was squeezing my heart. I felt full. I felt breathless. I felt good.

Is this the beginning (again) of a beautiful relationship? Time will tell. To start a romance off with a month apart….we will see.

Some days I do feel very hungry before lunch time. I’m not sure why this is, but it does happen. I eat a handful of almonds or have a string cheese. I generally eat low carb so these are my go to. My coffee has a good dose of cream that helps give me calories and keep the jitters down from caffeine on an empty tummy. I eat lunch between 1-2 pm depending on if I had a snack and when I take my walk. Amount of dinner is dependent on what I had for lunch and how much work I had to do when I got home.

Things to note:

• I didn’t start this program for weight loss. I could stand to lose 10 pounds, but who doesn’t. I am happy with my size and don’t even own a scale or weigh on a regular basis. If my clothes feel good and I feel good….all is good!
• I eat low carb most of the time. I don’t deny myself something yummy when I really want it. It is a lifestyle but I am not militant about it (unless I need to drop some weight after holidays/vacation).
• I stopped going to the gym about the same time I started using Morning Complete. This was due to tons of work I needed to do on my house remodel. My joints and back/hip haven’t bothered me much but it could be due to other factors. I do get a decent amount of exercise and rarely sit except for during working hours.

Conclusion; I have decided to stay on Morning Complete for several reasons. First, I enjoy not being reliant on breakfast and still feeling satisfied. I don’t have to cook breakfast! Time saver, woohoo! Second, I feel good, plain and simple. I’m 49 and that is a huge plus. Lastly, I feel the science behind the product is good.

I’m just a regular, playful, fun loving mature woman. I have my life together, hwp, kids grown, and DDF. I enjoy wine, food, live music, hiking, outdoor activities, and I’m willing to give almost anything a try once. I have a lot of energy and prefer you would too. I’m not one to sit around watching TV and tend to get along best with those that are active. You don’t have to be a runner or gym rat, just be fit with plenty of energy.

Here is the thing; I am looking for a long term relationship and would like that to be your goal too. I figured The Bite on Saturday would be a good place to get to know someone without the usual pressure of sitting across the table for coffee.

This is important; I am looking for someone 38-60, non-smoker, that lives within the Portland Metro area. I am not into 420 and don’t like the smell of the smoke. ALSO, please respond with your basic information AND a picture. Subject should be your favorite wine variety.

I did get a lot of responses. Most didn’t follow the directions given. A couple answers stood out from the others. One was from a man named Jim, he lived to the west. Another was a younger man named Josh. He was from SE. The other one was Shawn (for this story, yep, he’s Shawn). This story will be about Shawn even though the other two have their own short stories. Shawn contacts me and he was the one I would have liked to have met at the event. We emailed back and forth a couple times and I ask him what time he is available for the following day. I don’t get any response. I end up meeting young Josh at the event. He was an OK companion, it doesn’t work out.

A couple days later I get an email from Shawn about missing the event. No biggie, sorry you weren’t able to go with me. That was probably the basic reply. He emails me some more and we have a dialog. We ask questions back and forth and I confirm he does, in fact, want a long term relationship. Again, yes, this is Craigslist.

We email for about a week and in this time I find out he works out of town Monday-Thursday (or Friday sometimes). Sometimes he even stays over the weekend if it is a fun place, like say Hawaii! Yep, his territory included Hawaii! So this goes back and forth and I am about to let it go. I tend to get bored if there is endless emails, texting, or messaging. He asks for my phone number and I give it to him. He says he is trying to cut his trip to Seattle short to get home before heading to Hawaii. He does this specifically to have dinner with me. Wow, man flies in from Seattle to have dinner with me! Yeah baby, that’s what I’m talking about! He picks a place close to his house in SW. I get there early, like 30 minutes early (GPS said it would take longer than it did). I text him and he heads right down.

He walks in and I am pleasantly surprised. He is handsome, well-spoken, smart, nice, clean cut, and bald. It is my lucky evening! We order food and drinks and start sharing. He comes from a very large family, has 3 kids, loves to cook, and is renovating a small house close to the restaurant. He talks a little about his work and travel. I feel comfortable with him and happy he got back into town for this meal!

Shawn and I walk back to my car with our arms wrapped around each other. It was in a friendly “we are just strolling along” way not the “get a room” way. We get to my car, I open it, and throw my bag in. I turn around and hug him and get a firm hug in return. I’m a sucker for a good hug. I kiss him on the cheek and I get in my car.

By the time I get home I have a message from him asking if I can go to his house for dinner on Saturday night. He wants to cook for me. I did not sense any creepiness in him so I respond that I would love that! The next day he lets me know he got a little excited about me and forgot he was supposed to have dinner with his daughter on Saturday. He is bummed but asks if he could cook for me the following Saturday. I agree to see him then.

Shawn gets back from Hawaii the following Friday. He asks if I have any food restrictions, of which I don’t. I don’t really like raw onions or mushrooms but beyond that, not really. He gives me his address and lets me know 6 pm would work and I don’t need to bring anything.

I show up at his house at 6 and I am aware that there are some signs of artistic creativity in the yard. There are several sets of mannequin hands in the front planter. There is also some juvenile art on the fence. In all, a tidy place that is getting a new sidewalk (that has been his project for the day). I knock on the door and I can hear loud music drifting out the windows. I knock harder and hear him coming to the door. He opens the door, welcomes me in, and I give him a quick hug and thank him for inviting me. He is cooking away in the kitchen. It is a small place with art everywhere, mostly nude women. All that I can see are large canvases that fill every bit of wall space. He gives me a quick tour, pours me a glass of wine, and continues his cooking. It looks like we are having a shrimp appetizer, grilled steak, and brussel sprouts. And a salad! He cooks the marinated shrimp and they are amazing. The music is still playing loud and he asks me a few questions about my week while he continues to prepare our dinner. His kitchen is small with stuff piled up around the back and edges of the counters. It is clean and well appointed. I stand at the edge of the kitchen with my wine talking with Shawn. I can tell he loves cooking. He is going to cook the brussel sprouts with pears, looks like he is roasting them. The steak is getting ready to go on the grill. I ask if I can help and he declines the offer. I am having a good time watching him as I sip my wine. He comes in from putting the steak on the grill and hugs me and kisses me. It is a first kiss, nice and warm.

We sit down on the sofa and eat dinner on his coffee table. The night is warm, music is still playing (very eclectic selection), and the food amazing. We talk about our lives, where we come from, our families, kids, travel, and our houses. I am preparing for a remodel and he is doing his own work on his house. Our conversation has a nice flow. He opens another bottle of wine and I settle in for another hour or two. He snuggles me in closer on the sofa. I am enjoying the sensations. I am relaxed, comfortable, and well fed.

He gets up to go to the bathroom and I realize I need to go too. He comes back and I make my way into the bathroom. I realize on the visit that the brussel sprouts made me a little gassy and I am happy the music is loud and the large window is open. I start thinking brussel sprouts were not a good choice for a first real date. Mental note made and I go back in the living room.

We cuddle on the sofa with more kissing and roaming hands. It is all very nice. He asks me to stay over but then the memory of brussel sprouts makes me decline….I can feel gas building up again. He looks hurt and I tell him it isn’t about him, but I don’t have my overnight bag. He looks relieved and I grab my purse and head out to the fresh air to make my way home. That was a close one…..remember brussel sprouts and intimate moments don’t mix.

Shawn makes me dinner for several Saturday nights. We talk very little during the week, rarely a text, rarely a plan for the following weekend. I start to feel this is really odd for our Saturday dinners. I did start spending nights over at his place. One Friday he messages me to see what I would like for dinner on Saturday night. His assumption I am available makes me feel annoyed. I let him know I have been craving scallops. He tells me he will specially prepare them for me to make me happy. Great! He tells me to come over at 6 pm, like usual. The weather has turned cold and rainy and I am glad I am going to his space since mine is cold and under construction. I dress in my fuzzy workout pants and top. I head over at the regular time and before I get there I get a message from Shawn saying he is running late, let’s make it 6:30. I pull over and let him know I am 5 minutes from his house. I don’t hear back so pull in and park at the Safeway near his house. It is underground parking and will be a warmer option than sitting in his driveway. At 6:30 he says he is out of the shower and come by. Oh, and he didn’t have time to shop and prep so we are going out for dinner. Damn it! The night I wear relaxed clothes. Part of me is completely annoyed. I wanted a warm evening in front of his fire, relaxed and cozy, not traipsing through the rain and dark. And I wanted those scallops!

We go out and all the best places for dinner are jammed. I know I will feel better once I have a glass of wine and some food. The evening ended up being good and he was attentive. I think he could sense my frustration and probably my hunger. We only had one evening after that.

We had a nice Saturday evening with fish tacos the following week, I didn’t know it would be our last. I got a text the following Thursday evening that included a news story about a woman (prostitute) that shot the guy she was with twice in the head. The reason; he wasn’t doing oral sex on her the way she wanted. Shawn says something along the lines that he hopes I would never feel this way about him. I assure him he doesn’t need to worry about me shooting him. He thanks me and I never hear from him again! That was about 4 months ago. I wonder if he did die? It isn’t my thing to just check in when he kind of made is clear he didn’t like to be bothered during the week. I had started seeing someone else so I let it go. I determined I wanted a full week relationship, not just a Saturday night relationship. I have determined also, Shawn may actually be a ghost!